Failing

My biggest fear in life is failing. Not just in big ways either, but in the small ways that no one really notices. Today during simulation we had the opportunity to intubate our simulator patient and it took me a few tries before I was finally able to position correctly and get the tube in. Even though it was my first time attempting to intubate and even though nurses do not intubate patients in real life because it is "out of our scope of practice" I still felt like a failure for those few seconds that I had to try and reposition and reinsert the tube into the simulator patient. I'm not exactly sure why I have this fear and why I feel this way even when most people wouldn't.

Failure when it comes to my future is probably the biggest part of this fear for me. I have a plan for what I want to happen in my life, not necessarily specifics but generally things I want for my life. A few of those things are: I want to get married and have a family, I want to get through nursing school and pass the NCLEX the first time around, I want to find a job after graduation that I will love and I want to be happy. These are some of the bigger things in life that if they don't happen I will feel like the biggest failure on the planet. I realize that many people live completely fulfilled and happy lives without several of these goals but I don't think I'm one of those people. To put it simply, when it comes to life goals I won't settle, I won't let myself settle for anything less than what I want because that would mean failure and I don't know what I would do if that happens.
Now that I've gone off on a tangent, I guess what I'm saying is that my greatest fear in life is failure by my standards. I'm not sure if that makes any sense but oh well.